One of the rites of passage beyond forty is the dawning of light; of understanding, of knowing. Perhaps some things, many things, are just left for each of us to figure out, to experience, to contemplate. Some may have been too embarrassing to tell (for obvious reasons), others may have been too hush-hush, those things that were known or done but never, ever, spoken of. Perhaps she forgot, the older we get, the further away we are from life = s stages that we have left behind, and the crises within those stages that no longer seem to be the end of the world. Whatever their reasons for keeping us in the dark; ignorance, unawareness, religious doctrine, embarrassment, or just plain spite to watch us squirm, we slowly move through life = s phases on our own gathering bit after bit of knowledge, as those long-awaited A ahas, @ provide at least some satisfaction as we all too rapidly discover our world. Perhaps your mother did tell you but you weren = t listening because