Crossing the Bridge to Women's Unity: Women Today

What does it mean to be a woman today? 
It means the same thing as it did yesterday and as it will tomorrow. 

Of all the women who have gone before,

Who are you but just one more?

Look in yourself, and you will find,

The bridge that links us all through time.

  

    Who are you? Chances are, you are a woman if you are reading this book. What does being a woman today mean, and what does being a woman mean? Do any of us ever really take the time out from our busy schedules to ponder these thoughts, or to ask what we represent in being women? Do we represent something in our woman's bodies, other than just the “opposite sex?” Certainly other women have asked these questions.

It has come to my realization that women today are out of tune with being women and simply being what we are, women. What is that, and how are we supposed to be, and what took us away from what we should be, and most importantly, how do we get back there? There were the sexual revolution and the women's liberation movement, and these were positive moves, in some ways. But where did these moves take us and what is the next step? What are we doing now? Let's take a look at women today. 

    To be a woman today is not an easy thing to do. It is a selfish, self-oriented world that we have developed. I, me, me, my. We are conditioned to stay young, stay pretty, stay skinny, host elaborate parties, and impress the idiot boss whom we are also conditioned to believe we have to work for and constantly impress. Divorce is S.O.P. (Standard Operating Procedure) and day care is a booming industry, convincing us now that our children need to be there, lest they be slow in keeping up with others also there.

    Women are trying to do too many jobs. I know, I have been there. Running a household, caring for a family, standing by a husband, holding down a full time job and trying to keep yourself in tip-top shape all the while. Burn out, nervous exhaustion and even nervous breakdown can be the outcome. Thus, enter the evils of worldly temptation, in the most disguised of forms, of course.

    Energy, escape, entertainment, romance, mystery, solutions, relaxation, consultation and much, much more. Drugs, alcohol, exotically advertised vacations and spas, health clubs, bars, books, magazines, mystics, the occult, religion, therapy are all readily available for indulgence, reference and abuse. We believe wholeheartedly in the media and the answers it provides. We seek outside encouragement from professional sources so as to reassure our crumbling images. We seek groups of others who share our woes. There are so many alternatives to turn to that we don't know where to turn. When we should be turning toward God, our inner selves, our husband and our family, we instead look for outer alternatives to escape it all.

    Stay young. Act Young. Think young. Young at heart. All misinterpreted. Young is energy, not immaturity. Young is creative. We try to stay young because advertising says that's where it's at and in doing so we hang onto those qualities that we recklessly developed as youths, thinking them the key to staying young, thus, we never grow up. We are afraid to grow up because we won't be cool or young anymore. We will not be accepted.

     Fashion, fad, fitness, fancy. How do I look? What should I wear? But is it in style? Flabby thighs and wrinkled eyes. Rock stars with glitter in their hair. What's it all about? What's it all for? What's wrong with just living and being who you are? Why do we think we constantly have to impress everyone we see? Clothes and hair and makeup do not a woman make. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I had back all those priceless hours spent wasted in front of the mirror! If only I had truly seen myself when I looked there. But I only wanted to see that I looked pretty. I didn't care what was going on inside me or around me or what I did to others. Only me. Am I that rare? I don't think so, merely a product of today's society.

    Advertising has literally taken over the American woman and the American household. With women traditionally being the shoppers for all the family needs, they are the victims of unabashed deception. I myself am guilty on both ends. As a consumer, I have fallen for all the ploys, purchasing everything from glow-in-the- dark sunglasses for my son (who needs sunglasses if it is dark?) to a one-hundred-fifty-dollar crystal that was "blessed" (God only knows by whom). Having had a ten year career in sales and marketing, I have also pulled the rabbit from the hat myself. It all seemed perfectly acceptable to me. I did not realize nor understand that it was controlling my life and my family, not to mention my pocketbook.

    Used to, a trip to the grocery store was just that, a trip to the grocery store, to buy groceries. You had a list. You had a budget and that was it. Today, the grocery store is a store that has everything! The "tension mart." I would like to meet the woman today who can go into the "tension mart" and come out with only the items on her list. If she exists, she needs to be publically acknowledged and conducting seminars in showing the rest of us how to do it. I don't know about the rest of you, but for me, getting a six year-old quietly down the cereal isle was a task I failed. Thanks to television and creative marketing, if it's not green and shaped like a reptile, he wouldn’t eat it.  Never mind that oatmeal and bran are natural foods with nutrients and healing qualities. But alas, pressures abound from everywhere and not just the market.

    Remember when you were little, how good it felt when your mom was room-mother for a holiday party? How proud you were of the cupcakes she spent all day baking! Or when she sewed your costume for the school play? Women today are so pressured from their work weeks and outer activities that they are too tired to participate or to really enjoy it if they do. When it gets done, if it gets done, it's just one more "to-do" on the list. Prepare marketing analysis, balance budget, pick up laundry, buy cupcakes. Women are pressured from all ends. Don't allow it! I know there are women out there who are holding down superhuman positions and wishing for a pat on the back. The best pat on the back that you could get would be to say, hold it!  I know, I know, quality time. 

Somehow, when I was working outside the home, no one was ever on schedule for quality time at the same time. Doing the supermom routine can really be a shortchange of quality for ego satisfaction and selfishness, by saying, "Look at me, I can do it all!” Most of the time, it is outer pressures that cause us to do this.  If the truth be known, most of us would rather pick one thing and do it well.

    How many mothers are really there to know what's going on in their kids' lives? It is hard enough to keep up with them when you do it full time. I missed things in my child's life by working outside the home that I will never be able to regain. Sometimes one must sacrifice certain things to stay home; at least it feels that way in the beginning. I see now that it was no sacrifice at all.  What I have gained was happiness and satisfaction and control.

    With all the temptations and pressures of today's society, combined with the abundant influences from the outside world, it is more important than ever to know what's going on in our children's lives and to be there for them, as loving, caring mothers.

    Let's not allow society to babysit our children. TV, theatres, shopping malls, etc., are all fine for family gatherings as occasional entertainment. Take them out into the country. Show them a wildflower, learn about it together and teach them not to fear the bees. And it's not always necessary to go to the country.

Recently, while accompanying me to a doctor’s appointment, my husband and daughter stepped outdoors for some air. They heard a faint chirping and followed the sound. Around the corner of the building, tucked in between the siding and the wall, they discovered a nest-full of baby birds! To my delight, they later took me to see their secret discovery.

    Somehow my psyche survived it all: the working, the advertisements, the exhaustion, a divorce, the loss of my grandmother, the birth and raising of my children, albeit in pieces, but still it survived. I finally grew up (just in time to get the first one off to college).  I am ready to cross the bridge now, the bridge to women’s unity, the bridge to my sisters, the bridge to my inner woman. How about you? Are you ready to cross the bridge to women's unity?

    

Excerpted from my book, "Crossing the Bridge to Women's Unity"

copyright Cheryl Bruedigam 2018

Cheryl Yale-Bruedigam, CYI-250

Empowering Women Through Faith

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About Cheryl Yale-Bruedigam

Cheryl Yale-Bruedigam, the angels’ author, has been writing spiritually for thirty years. With undergraduate studies in English and women's studies, she devoted over a decade of research and writing to women’s studies and women's spirituality. For the past five years, she has been diligently working in publishing a series of angelic books as well as "The New Age of Christ." 

Bruedigam is a certified yoga and meditation instructor. She lives in New Mexico with her husband.

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