A rare occasion when I post a journal entry but today was particularly insightful so I thought I would share. Please note that when I refer to my health, healing and struggles, I am referring to horrid menopause, low blood sugar and a lifelong battle with depression but these insights may be applied to any health issue or situation in life with which you may be struggling.
Today there was a thunderstorm so I was forced to get off
the computer whereas I had planned to write until I raised my energy level
(which some days I have to do) but apparently there were some things I needed
to see first and I saw a lot during that thunderstorm. I had no juice to do
anything creative and I couldn’t be on my computer so I was really forced to
just be. To just relax. I lay on the couch with the rain and the thunder.
I realized that that is my biggest problem, especially in my
healing; not relaxing, not just being. I don’t let myself relax for whatever reasons,
fear of not seizing the moment to be productive or something. I am always
pushing myself, pushing myself, thinking maybe not to give into my health
issues, when really what I need is rest when they are flaring up but instead I
keep pushing and I keep battling. It is the battling that is exhausting me as
much as anything else. It is the battling that is draining what energy I do
have. What I saw is to relax into it and to go with it. Then, I will relax,
strength will come and I will heal faster. Otherwise if I am fighting it, it
will just increase and stay longer.
Now I did see this back in Portales during the “bad” time
(at the worst point of the menopausal changes and you have to understand that I
have the worst case in history, ever, period), I saw it all as a river and a
cavernous journey through which I was paddling my boat or canoe. There were
rapids and there were slow points, there were sharp curves, there were dark
places and there were high vistas but through it all, I was to ride it out, to
go with the flow, and I have forgotten this. It’s about stopping struggling,
stopping the resistance, I am creating the resistance by battling and
struggling. The key is to be. Just be, just relax. I guess if you are
constantly battling, you really cannot be in power because the battling is
constantly draining your power. It is the opposite of what you would think it
should be. The power comes when you are still, not when you are exhausting yourself
battling. This applies to any situation in anyone's life.
One point I had was on making my mind up, not what to do, but how to be. I think what I need to do after what I just experienced, is to
make my mind up to be. But now I
remember, the point I have been thinking on today is that it is ridiculous that
I am nearly fifty-seven years-old and that I still cannot yet control my mind
which in turn would also control my body. This was the thing I was going to
make my mind up to do: control it. Everything else will then fall into place,
which relates to the Lousie Hay quote I saw today:
“I change my life when I
change my thinking, I am Light, I am Spirit. I am a wonderful capable being,
and it is time for me to acknowledge that I create my own reality with my
thoughts. If I want to change my reality, then it is time for me to change my
mind.” ~ Louise Hay
(on long-seated daily meditation)
Another point I realized was that long-seated, highly concentrated meditation (where you are crossing worlds) is like smoking pot or
doing acid. It is something that you do when you need to for truth and insight. You do not need to
stay there, or do it constantly. You do it, then you bring back whatever you
got there and apply it in your life. Bill (my husband) always said that about
pot, to not forget the things you got while you were there. It is the same with
meditation. The sitting I have been doing every night in length is over. I think because
in doing it, I was given access to new insights, tools, understanding and
techniques and I progressed to a new level. Now it is time to bring those
things back to apply in my life and then when I have done so and am ready to
advance to a new level, maybe I will be able to go back and get more again.
It’s not about doing it every day for as long as you can, it’s about what you
got while you were there and whether you use it to apply and help you in your
life. That was a biggie I think. So it may be possible to overdo or to misuse
(still with good intentions) the practice of meditation. This is probably why I
was not to do the book which I was going to do when I began the extended
practice a year ago; I was told by my angels it was only for me and now I see
why and I understand. This is not the same as five or ten ten minutes of seated relaxation, that, I will continue with.
(a vision in the trees)
Also, while resting on the couch, I looked out the window and I saw in the trees (and I will call him) the Old Man of the Trees. He was elderly and wise. I saw his profile from back a ways. He had white hair and a beard. He looked like Santa or da Vinci or a grandfather, or even God with spectacles. His gaze was downward but distant.
He was smiling at times and it seemed to me it was because he knew what a long road still lies ahead, like he was thinking, "silly child all worried over these minor things when she is so far from all." There was a flower with him, fully blooming; I think, perhaps my own full bloom to come.
Nature is one of our greatest teachers if we are open to receive the wisdom. I have learned and seen much through the trees and their messages which are of course, from the Spirit, the Creator of all things.
So I got quite a lot out of the quietness of that little
thunderstorm. It was very healing and enlightening and therefore I am grateful.
The next time life forces you to stop, to slow down, to just be, give it a try
and you may just be surprised by all you find in the dolce far niente, as the
Italians say, or the sweetness of doing nothing for that's where your true powers lay.
Cheryl Yale-Bruedigam, CYI-250
Empowering YOU for a happier,soul-filled life
Empowering YOU for a happier,soul-filled life
About Cheryl Yale-Bruedigam
Cheryl Yale-Bruedigam, the angels’ author, has been writing spiritually for thirty years. With undergraduate studies in English and women's studies, she devoted over a decade of research and writing to women’s studies and women's spirituality. For the past five years, she has been diligently working in Angelology, as well as publishing a series of books on angelic guidance.
Bruedigam is a certified yoga and meditation instructor. She lives in New Mexico with her husband.
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