Releasing Self Rather Than Seeking True Self is Goal

The popular phrase seeking/finding your true self is deceptive and creates continual confusion because if we are in union with God, there is no need to seek the self. When we are trying to find our true self, it means that we are lost and disconnected, separated from God.

The “seeking and finding” part keeps you going in circles. It’s about just being who you inherently are, not going through phase after phase, and I don’t mean creativity or work/career changes or projects. I mean fads and such that distract us from the ability to stay in union with God which is from where the real, the authentic self  (if you want to call it that) stems. As long as we are disconnected from that source, we will never be able to be that real self that we are continually seeking while feeling disconnected. The harder we try, the further away we drift.

I was so consumed with seeking my true self, that I became completely self-absorbed.

In my life I have sought and sought but I sought the alternative, the edgy, thinking that was where I would find myself, on the outskirts, cycling through many phases of what I thought were me in my search for union. It was not until I stopped everything, quieted and simply let the connection with God develop, that I became who I was put here to be. I still have days where dissatisfaction in some form can cause restlessness but they are not the norm now whereas they used to be every day all day. Allowing yourself to come in union with God brings peace and contentment, self-acceptance and love if you can make the quiet time to do so.

There are so many distractions today especially with all to which we are exposed on social media, where we allow ourselves to compare ourselves to others, measuring our worth by what others have or do or how thy look or behave. Turn it off, step back and quiet down within and begin to identify with God rather than the world and those in it.

You will find your “God-self” in certain moments of the day. It might be upon waking when you have yet to don your mask. It might be that quiet afternoon cup of coffee when you are able to sit alone for a few minutes. It may be the person who at the end of the day is happy to be in her pj’s curling up on the couch with her spouse or her cat or as the kids come running in for a last evening hug. These moments are where you will find the heart of your self. Look at who you are in those moments, how you feel, what is really important, then accept that woman and go from there. She is who God intended you to be.

The phrases find yourself, find your true self are deceiving and just keep us seeking. 

Today we see so much of the phrase find yourself, find your true self, etc., but this is deceiving and it just keeps us seeking. It is telling us that we are not being our self, that we need to seek elsewhere. So much of it has become wrapped up in a false philosophy of self-love, self-care, self-happiness, all of which are ego-based perspectives. It tells us that self is the answer rather than God. When we truly connect with God, then we are not coming from a place of ego nor do we have a continual need to seek because we are there, we are connected and the word self becomes irrelevant. Nor do we have a need to compare because we lack nothing. And don’t get me wrong, self-awareness is one of the most important aspects of change and spiritual understanding and growth; without it, we cannot see any further than the end of our nose, but it means to be aware of exactly these kind of things such as from where our sense of self comes, how we are identifying self, and whether we are taking steps to corrections in our perception and behavior.

It is a long road of it for most of us. Sometimes it’s one step forward and two steps back but those two steps back are usually the lessons and tests of our growth, growth toward our re-discovery and re-union with God and the complete release of self.

The bottom line is that the idea of seeking our true self leads to self-absorption whereas what we are really seeking is God within and when we find it, when we finally make that connection, there is no self, there is simply us functioning through the God within. Don’t seek, just be, God will do the rest but you have to choose it, then allow it, putting the self away. We are told in 1 John :24 “ . . . And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us,” thus there is no self.

About Cheryl Yale-Bruedigam

Cheryl Yale-Bruedigam has been writing spiritually for thirty years. With undergraduate studies in English and women's studies, she devoted over a decade of research and writing to women’s studies and spirituality. Author of What If We Are the Angels she is now teaching and sharing A Woman's Path to Wholeness Through Biblical Teachings.

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