Today I made the annual pilgrimage over to Youtube to listen once again to Merle Haggard’s, “If We Make It Through December,” my favorite all-time Christmas song. It can be said to be depressing yes; some would say I should be listening to songs about glistening snowmen and bells jingling, or the birth of the Savior or happy shoppers, but for me this song lingers nearest to my heart because of a Christmas long ago.
In 1971, the Christmas that I was eleven, my grandfather (who had raised me) was out of work. It had happened that he had developed health issues and was told by the doctor to leave his longtime job as a flight inspector for Bell Helicopter. He was also a rodeo producer, working hard on the side and weekends to continue with his dreams but it was not enough to fully support the family or lifestyle so it was a most trying time for my grandparents as they struggled to adjust to his unexpected early retirement. I think he was in his early fifties at the time. He had planned of course on working many years to come.
On that Christmas morning, I remember going into the den and I saw my grandparents sitting at the kitchen table, heads bowed. Normally, my Santa Claus gifts were beneath the tree each year in our formal living room but not this year. As I walked into the den, I saw their saddened faces and felt the heavy mood. Mama glanced hesitantly toward the big brick fireplace. Following her gaze, I saw one toy laying on the hearth. Other than that, not even a stocking was filled. I quickly realized in my eleven-year-old mind what was happening. I went over to the fireplace and sat down beside the game, trying to feign appreciation and interest but on the inside I felt near sick to my stomach as I bit back the tears. My grandparents were hurting and there was no Santa.
Through the mental fog I heard Mama’s soothing, apologetic voice saying, “We’re so sorry Cheryl, we just couldn’t do any more this year.” So, not only did I find out then and there about my jolly old hero but also that our security seemed threatened. I understood as much as I could process at the innocent age of eleven.
It wasn’t until two years later that the song, “If We Make It Through December,” was released, but from the moment I heard it, it gave me such a deeper and more compassionate understanding of the events of that Christmas two years before, and in my then thirteen-year-old wisdom, I was so moved as to more completely appreciate what, for my grandparents, had probably been one of their most difficult holidays.
Every year since, that song brings back to me the love and comfort I was gifted by my grandparents every single day that they were alive and serves as a reminder of how fortunate we were and indeed how much I had been blessed, especially that Christmas when Santa left for me, rather than toys, a blessed memory upon my heart that I would forever hold dear.
If We Make It Through December
Lyrics
If we make it through December
Everything's gonna be all right, I know
It's the coldest time of winter
And I shiver when I see the falling snow
If we make it through December
Got plans to be in a warmer town come summertime
Maybe even California
If we make it through December, we'll be fine
Got laid off down at the factory
And their timing's not the greatest in the world
Heaven knows I been working hard
Wanted Christmas to be right for daddy's girl
I don't mean to hate December
It's meant to be the happy time of year
And my little girl don't understand
Why daddy can't afford no Christmas here
If we make it through December
Everything's gonna be all right, I know
It's the coldest time of winter
And I shiver when I see the falling snow
If we make it through December
Got plans to be in a warmer town come summertime
Maybe even California
If we make it through December, we'll be fine
Songwriters: Merle Haggard
If We Make It Through December lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
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